The Leader's Guide to Taking ACTUAL Vacation
- linnearader
- Nov 24, 2025
- 7 min read
Each and every year, my family and I go to Florida to visit my parents. I love it there. It's a beautiful place, there's time to swim, relax, check out cool places, look for alligators, and generally spend amazing time together.
But several years ago, that vacation looked very different than it does now.
I can remember one specific year where the phone wouldn't stop ringing. Emails were flying in constantly. At one point, I had to tell a particularly problematic individual to knock it off or I was flying home to deal with it, and I promised that the outcome wouldn't be something they liked.
That relaxing vacation I'd envisioned? Wasn't relaxing at all. I was miserable. My entire family missed out on fun times because I had to keep up with work. My son wanted to go swimming. My husband wanted to actually spend time together. And I was stuck to my phone like it was surgically attached.
The Wake-Up Call
Fast forward to my more recent vacations. I've been present not only physically, but also mentally, which, by the way, is much more important. I lay by the pool and read books. I swim with my son. We go on excursions. It's amazing.
What changed?
Several things. First, I realized I actually needed and deserved a break. Second, or probably should be first, my husband and son began hating my job.
That hit hard. I work to support my life. I don't have a job to BE my life. But somewhere along the way, I'd let work consume everything, including the precious time I had with my family.
I'd ruined my last vacation. I'd missed out on my last bit of fun with my kiddos as they grow up. I'd skipped relaxing with my husband for the last time. Those are words you can't take back. Time you can't get back.
Something had to change.
The Real Problem
"I was holding everything so close that they couldn't function without me."
I'd always prepped for vacation, gotten everything I possibly could done before I left. But it never seemed to be enough. Work still found me. Crises still erupted. People still needed me.
Or so I thought.
Here's the uncomfortable truth I had to face: if you can't take a vacation, it's because you've not prepared a team to do their jobs. And that's on you.
I wasn't setting my team up for success. I was holding everything so close that they couldn't function without me. And if I'm being truly honest, many years back I was probably a little too insecure in my role. There was some fear that went along with holding it all so close, fear that someone might take the ball and run with it, fear that they might not need me as much as I thought they did.
The Public Sector Trap
"Some people seem to think public servants don't get vacation."
In the public sector, this problem seems to be on hyperdrive. When you work for the public, there seems to be an underlying rule that you always be available. Some people seem to think public servants don't get vacation.
The reality? NOT TRUE.
We need to set boundaries. Your community will survive without you for a week. The roads will still get plowed. The water will still run. The services will continue.
And if they won't? Then you have a much bigger problem than whether or not you should take vacation, you have a systemic failure in your organization that needs addressing immediately.
How I Actually Take Vacation Now
So, what changed in how I prepare? I still prepare, but I prepare in a different way. I prepare with who else can handle what while I'm gone.
I give more updates and progress status checks to my team so they know what might come up and what to do if it does. We talk through scenarios. We identify who's the point person for different types of issues. We make sure everyone has the information and authority they need to make decisions.
I also stop checking in as often. I'm not saying I don't get an update from time to time, but I don't go looking for them.
Think about it. If you call every morning and ask what's going wrong, someone is going to tell you. And then you're going to help "fix" it all day long. You've essentially brought work on vacation with you, just with worse internet and a different background.
The Key West Reality Check
I need to be honest with you: there are times when vacation gets interrupted. It happens.
I was once vacationing in Key West with my husband. We LOVE it there. Well, back home, all hell was breaking loose. Massive flooding. Road culverts quite literally zooming out from under the road. It was a mess.
I worked with highly capable people who handled it all amazingly well. But there was one thing they needed from me: how do you want all of this chaos tracked in case there's some chance we could get funding for the repairs?
That's important. We work with a very limited budget. Do we budget for disasters? Sure, but there's a limit on how far we can go with that and still do any work. So, the possibility of receiving some sort of disaster aid meant we needed to make sure we had our i's dotted and t's crossed in case it's possible.
So, I got out the laptop, remoted into the system, and we got it handled. An hour or two later? Back to vacation, leaving the hard work in the hands of those who were there and perfectly able to handle it.
What's the lesson? I get it, there are times when interrupting your vacation is necessary. But darn it, you need to get things in line so it's an actual emergency and not the day-to-day.
It's on you to prepare your team and get them built up so they're capable and you have the trust in them.
The Trust Factor
"But here's what I learned: a leader who can't take vacation isn't an essential leader, they're a bottleneck."
I've said it before: I have an amazing team. They are perfectly capable of helping and filling in for most things.
I just didn't want them to have to.
Why? Because I was holding onto control. Because I thought being indispensable made me valuable. Because I hadn't done the work of truly preparing them to operate without me.
But here's what I learned: a leader who can't take vacation isn't an essential leader, they're a bottleneck. They're a single point of failure. They're actually a liability to their organization.
The most valuable leaders are the ones who build teams so strong that operations continue smoothly in their absence. That's not a sign of being replaceable, it's a sign of being exceptional at leadership.
If You Can't Disconnect
If you can't disconnect, you need to find out why.
Are you holding everything too close in fear that someone may take the ball and run with it? Do you need to build up your team to be more confident, helpful, and able to assist? Or is it something else entirely?
The reality is this: if you can't disconnect, you ARE going to burn out. And that's going to be an entirely different level of disconnect that you cannot even fathom.
Burnout doesn't ask permission. It doesn't wait for a convenient time. It doesn't care about your projects or your deadlines or your sense of being indispensable. It will take you out, and it won't be pretty.
I watched a colleague once who prided himself on never truly taking vacation. He'd go away with his family, but he was on his laptop for hours every day. On conference calls. Managing crises. "Keeping things running."
He thought he was being dedicated. Noble, even. Proof of his commitment.
What he actually was? Exhausted. And increasingly ineffective. His decision-making suffered because he was constantly drained. His team never developed because he never gave them space to step up. His family resented his job. And eventually, his health forced the issue, he was actually making himself very sick.
That's not dedication. That's self-destruction disguised as leadership.
The Return on Investment
"But the reality is this: YOU need time. You need a reset, some relaxation, and a life."
Here's what happens when you DO take real vacation: you come back refreshed. It's like a complete reset.
You're energized. You're ready to take on the world. You can look at those long, hard projects that you've struggled with in a different light. You can take them on with renewed energy and a new eye for success.
You can breathe life back into your team. You can think strategically instead of just reacting tactically. You can see solutions that were invisible when you were running on fumes.
In the end, we can make every excuse in the book about how necessary we are and how much we're helping our organizations. But the reality is this: YOU need time. You need a reset, some relaxation, and a life.
Live it well.
Your Vacation Action Plan
Before You Leave:
Identify who handles what in your absence. Be specific.
Have conversations with your team about potential scenarios and how to handle them.
Give them permission to make decisions without you.
Set up your out-of-office message and actually mean it.
Tell people when you'll be back and available.
While You're Gone:
Don't check in unless there's a genuine emergency (and no, someone having a question is not an emergency).
Trust your team. You built them, let them show you what they can do.
Be present with your family. They deserve the real you, not the distracted, half-there version.
When You Return:
Debrief with your team. What went well? What was challenging?
Celebrate what they accomplished without you.
Use what you learned to make the next vacation even smoother.
The Bottom Line
Your organization doesn't need you to be available 24/7. What it needs is a leader who takes care of themselves well enough to lead effectively when they're actually there.
Your family doesn't need someone who's physically present but mentally checked out. They need you, the refreshed, energized, fully present version of you.
And you? You need to remember that there's more to life than work. That the point of leadership isn't to be a martyr. That taking actual vacation isn't selfish, it's strategic.
So book that trip. Prepare your team. Set your boundaries. And for the love of everything, PUT THE PHONE DOWN.
Your work will be there when you get back. Your team will handle things. The world will keep turning.
And you'll come back better for everyone because you actually gave yourself permission to rest.
How do you handle vacation as a leader? What strategies have helped you actually disconnect? Share your experiences in the comments.
As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!
Connect With Me
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