Trust and Honesty in Leadership: Why It's the Foundation That Holds Everything Together
- linnearader
- 7 days ago
- 7 min read
I worked with a team once whose leader had a habit of taking credit for their work.
Not in obvious ways. It was subtle. In meetings with upper management, the leader would present ideas the team had developed without mentioning where they came from. When projects succeeded, the leader's name was front and center. When things went wrong, suddenly it was a team effort and everyone shared the blame.
The team noticed. Of course they noticed. And once they did, everything changed.
They stopped bringing ideas forward. They stopped volunteering for high visibility projects. They answered questions with just enough information to satisfy the direct question and nothing more. No discussion to open up conversations. No idea generation. Just question, answer, done.
The loss wasn't dramatic. There was no explosive confrontation or mass exodus. It was quieter than that. The team simply stopped trusting their leader, and in doing so, they stopped giving their best work.
That's what happens when trust breaks. And that's why trust and honesty aren't just nice to have leadership qualities. They're the foundation everything else is built on.
What Trust Actually Looks Like
"I was clear that trust wouldn't bloom overnight. It would take time."
Trust in leadership isn't about being liked. It's not about being friends with your team or never making unpopular decisions.
Trust is about consistency. It's about people knowing that what you say matches what you do. That you'll be honest even when it's uncomfortable. That you'll give credit where it's due and own mistakes when they're yours.
I've spent years working on rebuilding trust in a relationship that was deeply broken. The relationship between management and our union had been fractured for so long that some people thought it was beyond repair. Years of distrust. Years of directives instead of conversations. Years of games rather than honesty.
When I stepped into working with this relationship, I knew the first thing I needed to do was have an honest conversation. So that's what I did.
I sat down with union leadership and laid it out. I told them what I had seen. Where I wanted the relationship to go. I acknowledged that several of them had similar goals because we'd discussed it before. I was clear that trust wouldn't bloom overnight. It would take time.
I told them if anyone had questions, they should go to the source and have the conversation rather than making assumptions.
Was it perfect? Absolutely not. But it was a start.
Putting Yourself Out There
Once we had built some trust, the real test came during contract negotiations.
Our lawyer didn't attend. We explained to union leadership that we were putting ourselves out there and were willing to work directly with them instead of through legal representation.
They didn't know quite what to think at first. The constant back and forth, the speaking in grandiose terms, the soapboxing that had characterized previous negotiations, all of that got nixed. Instead, conversations became useful and meaningful rather than a show.
It took years to get to where we could truly have conversations. Not months. Years.
That's the thing about building trust. It doesn't happen in a single meeting or a single gesture. It happens in the accumulation of consistent actions over time. In showing up the same way again and again until people start to believe that's actually who you are.
When You Get It Wrong
"You acknowledge it. You learn from it. You do better next time."
Here's what nobody tells you about building trust: you're going to mess up. And how you handle those mess ups matters more than getting it right the first time.
Recently, I thought I was being collaborative by presenting a procedure idea without a draft form. I wanted the conversation to be true and open rather than just confirming what I'd already decided. I thought showing up without a finished product would signal that I valued their input.
It went sideways.
Without giving all the guardrails or must haves, without the structured outline, the change was inadvertently perceived as optional rather than a conversation to create a unified procedure. There was confusion rather than collaboration.
I realized where I went wrong. And I owned it. I went back, clarified the parameters, and we had the conversation again with better structure.
That's what honesty looks like when you mess up. You acknowledge it. You learn from it. You do better next time. You don't make excuses or blame others for misunderstanding. You take ownership.
The Cost of Broken Trust
"No innovation. No real progress."
When teams don't trust their leader, they go into self protection mode.
They answer questions very carefully, giving just enough information to satisfy the direct question. There's no discussion to open up the conversation and grow ideas. It becomes question, answer, question, answer with no growth. No innovation. No real progress.
I've seen it firsthand. Team meetings that should be collaborative brainstorming sessions turn into brief exchanges where people share the minimum required and nothing more. People stop volunteering information. They wait to be asked directly, and even then, they're calculating what's safe to share.
The organization doesn't just lose productivity. It loses the intangible things that make teams effective. The willingness to go above and beyond. The creative problem solving that happens when people feel safe taking risks. The honest feedback that helps leaders make better decisions.
All of that evaporates when trust is broken.
Honesty Isn't Always Comfortable
I regularly have to be the messenger for situations I'm not the decision maker of.
Whether it's a product that was selected for use and I'm outlining how it's to be used, or a new process that's going to be implemented that I'm in charge of holding people accountable for. When I do that, my personal opinion on the situation is of zero importance.
The time to discuss and debate is privately. Once it's being presented to others, it's the way it is without my opinion coloring it.
I state the facts. I explain the reasoning. That's it. If others don't like it, I take in the questions, answer what I can, and get back to them on anything I can't answer in the moment.
That's honesty. Not undermining decisions you didn't make. Not throwing other leaders under the bus to make yourself look better. Not winking at your team like you're secretly on their side against management.
It's being straight about what's happening, why it's happening, and what your role is in implementing it.
The Line Between Honesty and Over-Sharing
"Being honest doesn't mean breaking confidences or over explaining every detail."
Here's where it gets tricky. Honesty doesn't mean sharing everything you know.
People share information with me. It's my job to take it in, process it, and address situations as they come up. Often when I'm working with groups, a participant will come to me on the side about a concern. I'll then work it into questions and situations during the presentation.
Some could say that isn't being honest, that I'm using other examples instead of bringing the issue front and center with all the details. I see it differently. I'm holding confidences so the issue can be addressed without bias. Without putting someone on the spot. Without breaking the trust they showed in bringing the concern to me privately.
That's the balance. Being honest doesn't mean breaking confidences or over explaining every detail. It means being truthful about what you can share while protecting what should remain confidential.
It's a thin line. And navigating it is part of the work of leadership.
When Trust Is Still Fragile
Even after years of work rebuilding trust with our union, I still hear things that sting.
Recently, someone cautioned a coworker to be careful around me. They said I would set them up.
I felt horrible. My job is to hold people accountable for their actions, which gives me the principal feeling that nobody likes. But I have never and would never set anyone up. Do I have to make sure everyone is treated fairly and issues are dealt with? Absolutely. But that has never involved making things up or entrapping someone.
That story didn't come from someone who works closely with me. It came from someone on the periphery who's self-serving and likes to stir the pot. But it still hurt. And it reminded me that trust, once broken, takes a very long time to fully rebuild.
Some people will never fully trust you, no matter what you do. And that's okay. You can't control what others think or say. You can only control your own actions and consistency.
So you keep showing up honestly. You keep doing what's right. You keep building trust with the people who are willing to meet you there.
Why This Matters More Than Any Other Skill
"Building trust starts with honesty."
You can be brilliant. You can be strategic. You can have every technical skill and certification imaginable.
But if people don't trust you, none of it matters.
Trust is the foundation that every other leadership skill builds on. Without it, your team won't be honest with you. They won't bring you problems until they're crises. They won't tell you when your ideas won't work. They won't give you their best thinking or their discretionary effort.
They'll do what's required and nothing more.
Building trust starts with honesty. Not just telling the truth, but being consistent, owning your mistakes, giving credit where it's due, and showing up the same way even when it's hard.
It takes time. It takes patience. It takes being willing to put yourself out there and let people test whether you really mean what you say.
But it's worth it. Because without trust, you're not really leading. You're just managing people who are waiting for you to prove them right about not trusting you.
And that's no way to lead.
Next in the series: Authenticity - Leading as Your Real Self
As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!
Connect With Me
If you want to consult on training or coaching for your team, please reach out.
269-621-5282
Comments