What Is Empathy? 5 Examples of Empathy in Everyday Life

Oct 14

5 min read

Updated: 3 days ago

Portrait of a curly-haired woman in a tan blazer, resting her chin on her hand, with a soft blurred indoor background. — I'm angry and cranky. But empathy can help.

Fair warning. I’m writing about empathy today, and I’m still pretty cranky.

If you read my weekly email, you saw how angry I am about the dangers our road workers face when they’re just trying to do their job. I’m frustrated, I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m all sorts of things. I’ve had to talk about it so much lately, and that makes it even worse. We can’t keep going like this.

I’m sorry things have been so heavy around here. I like this leadership in real life thing to be positive, light, motivating, engaging, and all the things. I just can’t ignore the heavy that’s surrounding us right now.

But today I’m going to do my best. I want to talk about loving your family, your friends, your neighbors, and other people. I don’t know that bringing empathy back into this world will fix what’s going on right now. What I do know is that it won’t hurt.

So, What Is Empathy?

That’s a good place to start, right?

Here’s how I think of empathy. It’s understanding how others are feeling. They may be excited while you’re angry. They may be sad about something you don’t relate to. Empathy is understanding anyway.

Here’s what empathy isn’t. You’re mad, you’re furious, so I jump in the hole of anger with you. You’re angry, so I must be angry too. Nope. That’s not empathy.

Empathy is understanding that someone else has feelings. You don’t have to have the same feelings to understand them.

"Empathy is understanding that someone else has feelings. You don’t have to have the same feelings to understand them."

This world needs more empathy. So here are five examples of empathy in everyday life, including a couple where I only sort of pulled it off.

5 Examples of Empathy in Everyday Life

1. The Flagger Holding the Stop Sign

Red octagonal STOP sign on a pole against a pale sky, with orange trees blurred in the background. — A stop sign isn't a reason to be mean.

I talked to one of my team members this week. He was out holding a stop sign, stopping each car to explain that fresh tar had just been sprayed on the road. The passenger in one car actually said to him, “This is why you people get run over.”

Say what?!

I’ve got a lot to say about that. Luckily, the husband of this pleasant passenger shut her down immediately.

Some empathy would be nice here. That person standing there with the stop sign is not the reason you’re late. He’s not the reason you have to find a new way around. He’s a parent, a grandfather, a husband, a hard worker. He’s a good person doing his job, and he’s trying to help you get where you’re going. He just wants to go home at the end of the day.

"That person standing there with the stop sign is not the reason you’re late."

2. When Someone Is Sadder Than You Think They Should Be

Recently my oldest son and his girlfriend had to put down one of her cats. They were sad. VERY sad. I understand that we love our pets. I know I do. But this was way past the level I’m used to.

Instead of judging, I tried to show empathy. They were going through a hard time, and I tried to show grace.

Now, I only partially succeeded. A few days later I still required that they do their chores at home, and apparently that wasn’t appreciated. I didn’t think it was out of line, but I was told otherwise. I’m not sure who was right, but I sure think I was!

3. When Your Mood Doesn’t Match Theirs

Have you ever been so excited about something, gone to tell someone, and their bad mood totally brought you down? Or the opposite. You’re mad and sad, someone comes to you excited about what’s going on in their life, and you don’t give them the time of day.

I’ve been both, if I’m totally honest. Usually I’m the happy, excited person. If you’ve read much of my content, you know. I get really excited about projects. I get excited about a lot, really.

My most recent example is video. I’ve seen videos make more of an impact than words or pictures, so I’ve been trying a few at work. After one of them I was met with, “We don’t want to hear from the office, we want to hear from the person in charge of the job.”

Well, thank you, Mr. Grouchy Pants. First, the foreman has ZERO interest in doing a video. Second, I got the information from the foreman.

Oh well. Empathy can go both ways here. Maybe Mr. Grouchy Pants was having a bad day, and I don’t know what he’s dealing with. And Mr. Grouchy Pants could show some empathy for a foreman who would rather sink into the ground than go on video. The foreman is good at his job. Creating video content isn’t part of it, and it doesn’t need to be.

4. When You Feel Disrespected in a Meeting

Two women arm wrestle across a conference table while two men watch in a tense office showdown. — Ok, it didn't get to this point...luckily.

Have you ever sat in a meeting and felt completely disrespected? Oh, I have. And oh, how it made me mad.

As you can likely imagine, I like to talk. I think I’m pretty good at it, but I do talk a lot. (Shut up, Greg, just in case you’re reading.)

A while back I was asked in a meeting about something that didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I answered honestly. I said I had ideas to make it better and more meaningful, and that I’d like to discuss them when there was time. The response included statements about how ungrateful people are, and several more along those lines.

I was taken aback. At first, I was pretty angry. Then I realized I don’t know what that person has going on, or what pressures exist that I’m not aware of. So, I tried to show empathy. I stayed in the conversation and didn’t show that the reaction hurt my feelings. If I had shut down or fired back, the situation would have escalated, and there was no reason for that. Choosing empathy meant the rest of the meeting went on and other things got talked about.

Now, am I going to bring up my ideas on that topic again? Probably not. That reaction did not make me want to put myself out there. So, here’s another lesson. If you want to hear feedback, watch how you respond.

"If you want to hear feedback, watch how you respond."

5. The Friend Who’s Furious With Their Significant Other

I’m sure none of you have had this happen. Not.

Your friend vents to you about their significant other. They love them. They’re just frustrated. You can show empathy by listening, or you can jump into the hole and call that person a jerk right alongside your friend.

Here’s where empathy really helps your relationship. Your friend is going to make up with their significant other. If you call them a jerk, your friend will remember it and feel like you don’t like that person anymore. If you listen and support your friend, it won’t hurt your relationship long term.

Empathy Can’t Hurt

I can’t fix everything that’s wrong out there, and you know that frustrates me. But I can decide how I treat the person in front of me, whether that’s a flagger, my own family, or Mr. Grouchy Pants. So can you.

So, here’s my question for you this week. Where could you show a little more empathy? And who showed it to you when you needed it? I’d love to hear about it.

As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!