How to Get Through a Hard Season in Life (Without Faking It)

Sep 2

7 min read

Some days are hard. Some weeks are hard. And sometimes, entire seasons of your life are just plain hard. I'm not going to sugarcoat that for you, because I've been in one of those seasons myself lately. If you're wondering how to get through a hard season in life without just faking your way through it, that's exactly what we're talking about today.

I talk a lot on this blog about staying positive, finding the bright side, and leading with a good attitude. All of that is still true. But if I only ever showed you the shiny parts, I wouldn't be telling you the whole story. Life isn't always pretty. Sometimes it sucks. And the thing that defines you isn't whether hard things happen. It's how you deal with them and how you come back.

So let's talk about what to do when you're in one of those seasons, because I promise you, I was living every bit of this advice this week.

Curly-haired woman sits on a couch by a bright window, gazing thoughtfully; cozy room with sign reading one step at a time — Hard times come and we have to figure out how to get through them.

Step One: Stop Pretending It's Not Hard

At one point this week, I actually looked up flights to Florida. Running away and going to Disney was tempting, genuinely tempting. It would have been so easy to just fly off and leave the problems behind for a few days.

But here's the reality. Even Disney wouldn't have gotten it out of my head. I might not have been physically present for the hard stuff, but it still would have been living rent free in my mind the whole time. I'd have been standing in line for a ride, smiling for a picture, and still turning the same thoughts over and over underneath it all.

"When times are tough, face them."

So, I closed the flight search. You could close your eyes and bury your head in the sand instead, or buy a plane ticket and physically leave, and it still won't help. I'm not going to tell you to slap a smile on it and pretend everything is fine, hunky dory, all good. When times are tough, face them. I had to realize that one foot just needed to go in front of the other, right where I was.

Notice what I'm not saying here. I'm not saying dwell on it or replay it on a loop. I'm saying give yourself permission to admit it's hard, wherever you are, without needing an escape hatch. That admission is what lets you actually start dealing with it instead of running from it, literally or otherwise.

Step Two: Remember This Is a Season, Not Forever

This isn't the first rough week I've had, and it certainly won't be the last. Being in HR, people come after me more often than I'd like. Decisions they didn't agree with. Policies that hold people accountable and don't make them very happy. Rules, regulations, you name it. Then on the finance side, everyone wants more road work done. Everyone, me included. I have to balance all the beans and figure out how the priorities of each department can best be met, and present the possibilities. Most of the time, that part is a genuinely interesting and complicated puzzle. I actually enjoy it.

The stinky part is when work gets twisted into personal. And on some level, I get it. Being held accountable at work means a difficult conversation, sometimes worse, and that's uncomfortable and hard to take. We all take our jobs personally, so those difficult conversations hit hard. On the finance side, it happens too. Something can't be prioritized, so it must be personal instead of data driven, even when you show people the data. People go personal when they can’t figure out another way to go. It sucks.

Here's the reality. It's a season, not forever. The rough times have shown up before, and they'll probably show their ugly little head again someday too. But there's time in between. Hopefully a lot of time in between. The more you can remind yourself that this is a period of time, not a permanent state, the better off you'll be.

"The more you can remind yourself that this is a period of time, not a permanent state, the better off you'll be."

Keeping your eye on that helps. Remembering all the great things helps too.

Step Three: Know What You Can and Can't Change

Some things are within your control. Some things absolutely are not. If someone you love is sick, there's only so much you can do. You can't wave a magic wand and fix it.

The same goes for what other people think of you. Rachel Hollis has a quote I love, other people's opinions of you are none of your business. Their opinion is usually built on partial truths or assumptions that aren't the full picture, and you can't control that. What you can do is keep being who you actually are and let time show the rest. And here's the flip side too, one I had to remind myself of this week: your opinion of them isn't their business either. Realize it sucks. Realize it hurts. Then pick yourself up and start reorienting your focus.

Remembering the Good

Smiling family selfie in a sunny park, wearing caps and glasses, with white flowers and trees in the background. — Family and friends are amazing!

It's really easy to go down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and focus only on the negative. I'm fully aware of that, because I've done it, and I did it again this week. The harder part, but the far more meaningful part, is to refocus on all the good. The work. The personal. Everything. There's so much good in what you do, and it's still there even in a hard week.

This week, I thought about the updates to a contract I helped negotiate. Huge benefits for everyone involved, a great set of compromises that serves all parties. That's meaningful.

I thought about the team we've built. People who work hard and get along well, working together toward a shared goal instead of pulling in separate directions. That's a much better environment for everyone, and it didn't happen by accident.

I thought about how much the team has grown, the knowledge, the experience, the skills. Everyone constantly learning, identifying goals and gaps, and moving forward to close them.

And I thought about my family and my friends. Look at this past weekend. It was amazing, and it landed exactly when I needed it, right after a few really hard weeks. That's just a slice of the amazing people in my life. We are truly blessed with more of them than I can list here. They put the whole situation in perspective. My people rock. They really do.

The Tools, and Why They Actually Work

Getting through a hard season takes more than good intentions. I've mentioned some of these tools before, but I think the why behind them matters more than piling on more of them. So, here's the why.

Take time to feel it. Feeling the feelings isn't wallowing. It's processing. If you skip it, the feelings don't disappear, they just wait for you, usually at a worse time. Give them their moment on purpose so they don't ambush you later.
Put it in perspective. A hard week can convince you that your whole life is falling apart, when really, it's just one hard chapter inside a much bigger story. Setting it next to everything else you've built, the contract, the team, the growth, the people, is what keeps one bad stretch from rewriting the whole narrative.
Stop the spiral. Spiraling feels productive in the moment. It isn't. Replaying the same worry ten times doesn't solve it, it just wears a groove into your brain. Redirecting on purpose toward something you can actually do is what actually moves you forward.
Move your body. When I've been at my hardest, sad or anxious, part of me just wants to curl up and stay there. But moving your body changes your body chemistry, not just your mood. Even a couple of laps around the block shifts something physical, not just mental, and that's why it works when willpower alone doesn't.
Give yourself credit. Mel Robbins has a great book called The High 5 Habit, about literally high-fiving yourself in the mirror each morning. It sounds small, almost silly. But recognizing and connecting with yourself, on purpose, every day, is what builds the habit of being on your own side instead of against yourself.
Practice gratitude. Even in a hard season, there's usually something to be grateful for. Gratitude doesn't erase the hard part, and it's not meant to. It just keeps the hard part from being the only thing you can see.
Write it down. Try explaining the situation the way you'd explain it to a friend. What's built up in your head is often worse than what it looks like on paper, because your head doesn't have to be logical or fair to you. Writing it down forces it into words, and words have edges. Sometimes it really is that bad, I'll give you that. But often, seeing it in black and white shows you it's more manageable than it felt at 2am.

The Bottom Line: How to Get Through a Hard Season in Life

This too shall pass. I said it once, and I'll say it again, because it's true. Looking at the start of last week, I never would have thought I could enjoy the weekend the way I did. But I did. In the moment, it can feel like the sky is falling. But with these tools, and with the why behind them, you can put the sky back in the atmosphere and keep on going.

Seasons are tough. That's just true. But you can get through them, and you will come out the other side. Accept that it's hard, use the tools that actually help, and remember that this season doesn't get the final word on your life.

What's one tool from this list you could use today?

As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!