The Permission Slip You Need for 2026: What If This Is Your Year to Stop Apologizing?

linnearader
5 days ago
6 min read

Updated: 4 days ago

Listen to the audio version here!

"Don't apologize for that."

My boss says this to me constantly. And you know what? He's right. But I still do it anyway.

Sorry I didn't get this project to you before you asked for it. Sorry I didn't answer the phone when you called. Sorry I didn't reply to your email immediately. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's a horrible habit. And here's the kicker: most of the time there's a perfectly acceptable reason for whatever I'm apologizing for. The project? Not late. Still on track. I'm just apologizing because someone asked about the status. The phone call I missed? I was already on another call. The email I didn't respond to instantly? I was working on another project, helping someone else.

Nothing to be sorry for. And yet, sorry.

If you're reading this and thinking "Oh my gosh, this is me," welcome to the club. We meet never because we're all too busy apologizing for existing.

But what if 2026 is the year we stop?

The Apology Audit

Here's what I want you to do this week. Just for awareness, not to beat yourself up about it. Count how many times you say "sorry" at work.

Not the legitimate apologies. Not "I'm sorry I missed that deadline" or "I'm sorry I made that mistake." Those are appropriate and necessary.

I'm talking about the other ones. The reflexive, unnecessary, taking-up-space apologies.

"Sorry to bother you, but I have a question about the budget."
"Sorry, I can't make that meeting."
"Sorry I didn't see your email right away."
"Sorry, this might be a dumb question."

My guess? You're going to be shocked at the number. I know I was when I started paying attention.

What We're Really Apologizing For

"We're apologizing for being human... And that's exhausting."

Here's what I've realized about my constant apologizing. I'm not actually sorry about the thing I'm saying sorry for. I'm apologizing for something else entirely.

When I say "Sorry I didn't answer the phone," what I'm really saying is "Sorry I'm not available 24/7 to everyone who needs me."

When I say "Sorry about the project status," what I'm really saying is "Sorry I'm not perfect and can't magically complete everything the moment someone thinks about it."

When I say "Sorry to bother you," what I'm really saying is "Sorry for having needs and taking up space and requiring something from you."

We're apologizing for being human. We're apologizing for having limits. We're apologizing for not being superhuman leaders who can do it all, be everywhere, and have all the answers all the time.

And that's exhausting.

The Double Standard We Don't Talk About

Here's something that really gets me. I never ask my team to be perfect. I don't expect them to accomplish an insane amount of work all at the same time. I don't require them to be available every second or to never prioritize one thing over another.

But somehow, I expect all of that from myself.

I don't ask it of anyone else, but I apologize when I can't do it myself.

As leaders, we're incredibly hard on ourselves. We want to have all the answers, deal with all the situations, and deliver all the projects all the time. And when we can't (because we're human), we apologize.

Would you ever tell one of your team members they should be sorry for being on one phone call when another call came in? Would you expect them to apologize for working on Project A when you asked about Project B?

Of course not. That would be ridiculous.

So why are we holding ourselves to that standard?

The Apologies That Hit Hardest

"I'm apologizing for having to do my actual job. For making decisions."

The hardest apologies for me are the ones that impact other people. Which, let's be honest, is all of them.

I apologize when I have to bother someone to get details about a personnel matter. Even when that matter is as important (or more important) to the person I'm "bothering" as it is to the employee involved. Even when it's literally part of their job to provide me that information.

Then on the flip side, I apologize when I have to deliver news that isn't what someone wanted to hear. When a project didn't make the priority list. When the outcome of a situation isn't exactly what they hoped for.

I'm apologizing for having to do my actual job. For making decisions. For setting priorities. For dealing with the reality that we have limited resources and can't do everything at once.

And every time I say "I'm sorry" in these situations, I'm undermining my own leadership. I'm suggesting that making these decisions, setting these boundaries, prioritizing these projects is something I should feel bad about.

It's not.

What Unnecessary Apologizing Costs You

This constant apologizing isn't just annoying. It's actually hurting your leadership effectiveness.

When you apologize for things that don't warrant apologies, you're teaching people that your time, your decisions, and your boundaries are negotiable. You're suggesting that you're doing something wrong by having limits or making choices.

You're also modeling terrible behavior for your team. If they see you apologizing for leaving work on time, for delegating tasks, for not responding to emails instantly, guess what they learn? That they should feel guilty about those things too.

And perhaps most importantly, you're reinforcing to yourself that you're somehow falling short. That you're not enough. That you should be doing more, being more, giving more.

That voice in your head that says you're not doing enough? Every unnecessary apology feeds it.

The Permission Slip

So here's what I want to give you as we head into 2026. Consider this your official permission slip.

You have permission to not answer every phone call the second it rings.
You have permission to prioritize some projects over others.
You have permission to delegate tasks without feeling guilty.
You have permission to take time off without apologizing for it.
You have permission to set boundaries without saying sorry.
You have permission to ask questions, need clarification, and not have all the answers.
You have permission to be human.

None of these things require an apology. Not a single one.

What to Say Instead

I know, I know. If you're like me, you're thinking "Okay, but what do I actually SAY instead of sorry?"

Here are some alternatives I'm working on:

Instead of "Sorry I didn't see your email right away," try "Thanks for your patience."
Instead of "Sorry to bother you," try "Do you have a moment to discuss this?"
Instead of "Sorry I can't make that meeting," try "I won't be able to attend, but please keep me updated."
Instead of "Sorry about the project timeline," try "Here's where we're at with the project."
Instead of "Sorry I have to ask you this," try "I need some information from you."

See the difference? You're still being polite and professional. You're just not apologizing for existing.

The Work Ahead

"Don't judge yourself, just observe."

I'm not going to pretend I've conquered this. My boss still has to tell me "Don't apologize for that" on a regular basis. This is a work in progress, and it probably will be for a while.

But I'm working on it. And I want you to work on it too.

Start noticing when you apologize. Just pay attention. Don't judge yourself, just observe. Where do you reflexively say sorry? What situations trigger it? Who do you apologize to most?

Then start catching yourself. When you hear that "sorry" coming out of your mouth, pause. Ask yourself: am I actually sorry? Did I actually do something wrong? Or am I just apologizing for being human?

And slowly, bit by bit, start replacing those unnecessary apologies with something else. Gratitude. Direct communication. Or sometimes, nothing at all.

Your Challenge for 2026

Here's my challenge for you as we head into this new year.

Pick one type of unnecessary apology you're going to stop making. Just one. Not all of them at once, because that's overwhelming and we'd all fail.

Maybe it's apologizing for asking questions. Maybe it's apologizing when you can't drop everything to respond immediately. Maybe it's apologizing for delegating work that's literally someone else's job.

Choose one. Practice catching yourself. Practice saying something else instead.

And watch what happens. Watch how people still respect you. Watch how work still gets done. Watch how the world doesn't end just because you stopped apologizing for taking up space.

Because here's the truth: you deserve to take up space. Your needs are valid. Your boundaries are reasonable. Your decisions as a leader don't require apologies.

The permission slip you've been waiting for? You already have it. You've always had it.

2026 is just the year you're finally going to use it.

So stop apologizing. Start leading. And watch what becomes possible when you give yourself permission to be enough exactly as you are.

What's the one apology you're going to stop making this year? Share in the comments. Let's hold each other accountable for taking up space without saying sorry for it.

As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!