Finding Calm in Christmas Chaos: A Leader's Guide

linnearader
Dec 22, 2025
9 min read

Let me paint you a picture of my Christmas decorating style: it's chaotic, it's mismatched, and it is absolutely perfect.

My house during the holidays looks nothing like those pristine magazine spreads where everything coordinates in elegant silver and white. Instead, I've got an eclectic collection of decorations accumulated over years, each one placed somewhere with little regard for whether it "goes" with anything else. There's my parents' old tree skirt at the base of our tree. The stocking that was made for me when I was a baby hangs on the shelf. Snow globes that I'd originally purchased as gifts for my grandma Mimi now sit on my shelves, returned to me after she passed away.

And the ornaments? Oh, the ornaments. They're a beautiful mess of memories. Gifts from friends, celebrations of milestones, reminders of family trips, homemade school projects with way too much glitter and questionable craftsmanship. Every single one tells a story, and I can probably tell you the memory behind 90% of them.

Does it all come together to meet some beautiful, cohesive standard? Absolutely not. But it's all about us. It's our story, our history, our joy hanging on every branch and scattered across every surface. And honestly? I wouldn't change a thing.

When Two Types of Christmas Chaos Collide

Here's the thing about December: the Christmas chaos at home is just one part of the equation. If you work in government like I do, you know that December brings its own special brand of workplace insanity.

Year-end for us means closing the financial books, preparing and presenting next year's budget, adjusting current year numbers, starting audit prep, completing performance appraisals, integrating open enrollment changes, and prepping for a new year of document storage. Oh, and managing the staffing strain when everyone (understandably) needs extra time off. And if (when) it starts to snow? Good luck.

The holidays don't pause for budget deadlines. Your family doesn't care that you have seventeen performance appraisals due. And that feeling of being pulled in seventeen directions at once? That's not just holiday stress. That's December in public sector leadership.

The Great Christmas Tree Debate

Colton's birthday SEVERAL years ago. Note the birthday presents under the tree and birthday decorations ON the tree!

Now, here's where things get interesting at my house. I love Christmas. Like, really, truly love it. The decorations, the traditions, the feeling of the season. All of it.

My husband John? He's the Grinch. It's quite the combination, let me tell you.

For years, he would have an actual fit when I wanted to put up the Christmas tree. He tried to dictate when I could start decorating, as if there were official rules about these things that I was blatantly violating. Then our son Colton was born on December 7, and John became even more convinced that we couldn't have the tree up and the house decorated before Colton's birthday. His reasoning? It would take the focus away from celebrating Colton's special day.

I'm not sure if this is karma, fate, or just the universe having a sense of humor, but as soon as Colton was old enough to express his wishes, do you know what he wanted? He wanted his birthday presents wrapped and placed under a fully decorated Christmas tree.

Have I mentioned I love my kids?

This year took the cake, though. John went to work. I went to work. And Colton, bless him, went and got the tree out of storage and set it up himself. On November 18.

Was John happy about this? No. Did he want to take the tree down himself? Also no. So the tree stayed up, and here we are.

When I Tried to Be Perfect (And Nearly Lost My Mind)

"I was just surviving, not living."

I learned the hard way what happens when you try to be the hero who does it all perfectly in December.

A few years back, I convinced myself I could handle everything. All the year-end work responsibilities, all the holiday preparations, all the family obligations. I didn't want to bother anyone else or delegate tasks. I'd just work hard and get it done myself.

You know what happened? I became a person who didn't even realize the holidays came and went. My time off was spent half working and half snoring because I was so exhausted. I was managing stress during holidays by simply not managing it at all. I was just surviving, not living.

That's when I realized something had to change. Not just for my family, but for myself. Because what's the point of all this work, all this effort, if I'm too burned out to actually enjoy any of it?

The Feeling I Can't Quite Explain

Here's the thing about Christmas that I struggle to put into words: there's this feeling I get when I sit in my living room with just the Christmas tree lit, all the other lights off, with a cinnamon or pine scented candle burning nearby.

It's pure joy. Life feels happy, safe, warm, and cozy in a way that's hard to fully explain. It's this one time of year when everything just feels right, even when nothing else in life is particularly tidy or organized or going according to plan.

I could sit in that glow for hours. Sometimes I do.

Now here's something that's been a game changer for me: I'm blessed to have the option to work from my home office several hours a week. I've learned to divide up tasks that are more efficiently completed without distractions at home versus those that need to be done at the office. And yes, sometimes that means I'm working next to my Christmas tree when I need that extra calm during a particularly stressful day.

Is it unconventional? Maybe. Does it help me stay grounded when I'm managing work life balance in December? Absolutely.

And I think that's what we often lose in the madness of the holiday season, both at home and at work. We get so caught up in the doing, the buying, the planning, the executing of perfect holiday moments and flawless year-end reports that we forget to actually be in them. We forget to sit in the glow of the tree. We forget that the magic isn't in getting everything done or making everything perfect.

The magic is in the moments when we stop.

Finding Your Pockets of Peace

"You're going to remember how it felt to just be together, without the pressure to perform or produce or perfect anything."

The holidays are going to be busy. That's just a fact. There will be shopping and wrapping and cooking and cleaning and coordinating schedules. There will be budget presentations and performance appraisals and audit prep and staffing coverage issues. The chaos is going to happen whether we want it to or not.

But what if, in the middle of all that chaos, we intentionally carved out little pockets of peace? What if we protected those moments as fiercely as we protect our to-do lists?

For me at home, it's those evenings in the glow of the Christmas tree. At work, it's being strategic about where I complete certain tasks so I can maintain my productivity without losing my mind.

But it might look completely different for you.

Maybe it's watching a classic Christmas movie with your family, phones put away, everyone actually present and together. Maybe it's snuggling up with hot cocoa and a book while the rest of the house sleeps. Maybe it's taking a drive all over the countryside finding Christmas lights to look at, just you and someone you love, talking about nothing and everything.

At work, maybe it's blocking off thirty minutes on your calendar to actually eat lunch away from your desk during the craziest week. Maybe it's leaving at your normal time one day instead of staying late, even when there's more you could do. Maybe it's taking a real day off without checking your email, trusting that your team can handle things.

Maybe it's gathering around those Christmas decorations and telling the stories behind them. Remembering each Christmas when your kids got specific ornaments as you hang them on the tree. Laughing at your picture on an old Christmas ornament. Talking about your Mimi, the original owner of the beautiful snow globes.

These moments don't require anything fancy. They don't require perfect planning or coordination or the right aesthetic. They just require you to stop. To be present. To choose connection over completion.

The Permission to Pause

I think we've somehow gotten the message that taking time to rest during the holidays is lazy or selfish. Like if we're not constantly moving, constantly doing, constantly checking things off our lists, we're not doing the holidays right.

And as leaders? We get an extra dose of this pressure. We're supposed to model dedication, right? We're supposed to show our teams what commitment looks like. We're supposed to be the ones who can handle it all.

But here's what I want you to know: the pause is not optional. It's essential. And modeling self-care and boundaries isn't weak leadership. It's the strongest leadership there is.

You're not going to remember the year you got everything perfect. You're not going to look back and think, "Remember that Christmas when every gift was wrapped beautifully and every decoration matched and every meal came out exactly right and I finished all seventeen performance appraisals three days early?"

You're going to remember the feeling. The laughter. The stories. The moments when you were fully there, not thinking about the next thing on your list or stressing about what still needs to be done.

You're going to remember sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree. You're going to remember your kid's face during the movie. You're going to remember the conversation you had while wrapping presents together. You're going to remember how it felt to just be together, without the pressure to perform or produce or perfect anything.

What This Actually Looks Like

"But you don't need hours. You just need moments."

I know it can feel impossible to slow down during the holidays, especially when you're in a leadership role. The demands are real. The expectations are real. The time constraints are very, very real. And let's be honest, the public seems to get a bit crankier this time of year too. Maybe it's the stress of the season, maybe it's the winter weather and lack of vitamin D, but people definitely take it out on public servants more in December.

But you don't need hours. You just need moments.

At home: Put the phones in another room during dinner. Light the candles even on a random Tuesday. Watch one episode of something together instead of everyone scattering to their own devices. Drive the long way home to look at Christmas lights. Make hot cocoa on a night when there's nothing special happening.

Tell the story behind the ornament as you hang it. Sit in the quiet of the lit tree for ten minutes before bed. Read one chapter of a Christmas story out loud. Put on Christmas music while you're making breakfast.

At work: Take your full lunch break one day this week. Leave on time at least twice this week, even if your inbox isn't empty. Block "focus time" on your calendar and actually use it to focus. Say no to one meeting that isn't essential. Delegate one task you'd normally do yourself.

Close your office door for fifteen minutes and just breathe. Take a walk around the building. Send a genuine thank you note to someone on your team instead of another reminder email about deadlines.

These tiny moments of presence, of peace, of intentional pause? They add up. They become the texture of your holiday season. They become what you remember. They become what prevents burnout and what helps you lead from a place of fullness instead of depletion.

My Challenge to You

This year, I'm challenging myself (and you) to protect the pause as much as we protect the plans.

Yes, make your lists. Yes, buy your gifts and plan your meals and coordinate your gatherings. Yes, complete your performance appraisals and finalize your budgets and prep for your audit. Do all the things that need to be done.

But also? Schedule in the nothing. Put "sit by the tree" on your calendar if you need to. Block off "movie night" like it's as important as any other commitment, because it is. Protect your lunch break like you'd protect a meeting with your department head.

The chaos is coming whether we invite it or not. But the calm? The peace? The presence? That's something we have to choose. We have to protect it. We have to decide that these moments matter just as much as the perfectly wrapped presents and the spotless house and the elaborate meal and the flawless year-end report.

Because at the end of the day, that's what the holidays are really about for me. Not the decorations that don't match or the tree that went up too early according to my Grinch of a husband. Not the perfect performance appraisal or the budget that balances to the penny.

It's about that feeling I get sitting in the glow of all those mismatched memories, knowing that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. It's about leading my team well while also taking care of myself. It's about being present enough to actually enjoy what we've created, both at home and at work.

To feel the warmth. To notice the joy. To let the magic in.

So this year, find your version of sitting by the tree. Find your moments of calm in the chaos. And give yourself permission to be fully, completely, wonderfully present in them.

The to-do list will still be there tomorrow. The performance appraisals aren't going anywhere. The budget will get done.

But this moment? This feeling? This is what it's all about.

What's your version of "sitting by the tree" during the busy season? Drop a comment and let me know how you're finding calm in your chaos this December.

As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!