Gratitude in Leadership: Why Thank You Matters More Than You Think
- linnearader
- Nov 26, 2025
- 7 min read
It's the day before Thanksgiving, which means we're all about to sit around tables and go through the ritual of saying what we're thankful for. Someone will mention family. Someone else will say health. Your uncle will probably say something about football. It's sweet, it's traditional, and honestly? It's often pretty surface-level.
But here's what I've been thinking about: gratitude in leadership isn't a once-a-year, around-the-table exercise. It's a daily practice that either strengthens your team or, when done poorly or not at all, slowly erodes the foundation you're trying to build.
And before you roll your eyes thinking this is going to be some fluffy feel-good post about participation trophies and everyone getting a gold star, stick with me. Because I'm going to tell you about the time gratitude literally saved my sanity, and the times I've watched it go spectacularly wrong.
When Your Team Shows Up (And You Remember Why You Do This Work)
"The relief was incredible. Not just because it meant less work for me (though let's be honest, that was pretty great), but because it was such a tangible demonstration of what a strong team looks like."
Every year, we put together a snowplow road-eo and employee appreciation day. If you've never organized one of these events, picture this: course setup, equipment coordination, safety planning, training programs, food, logistics, scoring systems, prizes, it's a massive undertaking that takes weeks of preparation.
This year, the event was scheduled right after I'd been out of the office for a week. As I was preparing to leave, the stress was mounting. My mental checklist was pages long. There was so much to finalize, so much to coordinate, and I'd be returning with just a few short days to pull it all together.
I came back to the office fully prepared to go into crisis mode.
Instead, I walked into a completely set up course. The team had stepped up in ways I hadn't even asked them to. They'd handled the details, coordinated with each other, and had everything ready. I just needed to finalize a few last things.
The relief was incredible. Not just because it meant less work for me (though let's be honest, that was pretty great), but because it was such a tangible demonstration of what a strong team looks like. They didn't need me micromanaging every detail. They saw what needed to happen and made it happen.
That's the moment you remember why you do this work. That's the moment you feel genuinely grateful, not in a performative, obligatory way, but in a deep, "I'm so lucky to work with these people" way.
And here's the thing: I told them. Not in some grand gesture or formal ceremony, but genuinely and specifically. Because that kind of initiative deserves to be acknowledged.
The Gratitude That Isn't Actually Gratitude
"It's like watching someone with multiple personalities, or more accurately, watching someone who's figured out that saying the right words can sometimes substitute for actually meaning them."
But let's talk about when gratitude goes wrong, because oh boy, does it ever.
I work with someone from a different agency who expresses gratitude constantly. And I mean constantly. Every interaction is dripping with thanks and appreciation. The language is grandiose, over-the-top, filled with personal details and emotional declarations. It's a whole production.
And it's completely meaningless.
Because as soon as the gratitude performance is over, this person's actions tell a completely different story. The behavior is the polar opposite of someone who's genuinely appreciative. It's like watching someone with multiple personalities, or more accurately, watching someone who's figured out that saying the right words can sometimes substitute for actually meaning them.
This is what I call platitude gratitude, words without substance, performance without authenticity. And here's the brutal truth: people see right through it. Your team isn't stupid. They know the difference between genuine appreciation and empty words designed to manipulate or impress.
When you express gratitude that you don't actually feel or back up with your actions, you're worse off than if you'd said nothing at all. Because now you've shown your team that your words mean nothing, and you've lost credibility you'll struggle to get back.
The Gratitude We Forget
Here's where most of us fail at gratitude, and I'm absolutely including myself in this: we get used to excellence.
Your HR person executes a flawless open enrollment for the fifth year in a row. Your administrative assistant prepares documents so impeccably that you've never once walked into a meeting unprepared. Your crew handles the routine maintenance so well that residents don't even think about the infrastructure that makes their daily lives possible.
And we forget to say thank you.
Not because we're ungrateful or don't appreciate it, but because excellence has become the baseline. We expect it because it's what they always deliver. The problem is, delivering excellence consistently is actually harder than delivering it once. It requires sustained effort, attention to detail, and genuine commitment to quality.
When we fail to acknowledge that consistent excellence, we're sending a message we don't intend: "This is just what I expect from you. It's nothing special."
But it is special. And the person delivering it deserves to hear that.
The Recognition That Backfires
"They know when you actually understand what they did and when you're just going through the motions."
On the flip side, I've seen leaders who recognize everything, but they do it in ways that actually damage morale rather than build it.
They publicly thank people for work they clearly don't understand. They make a big show of recognition so others can witness their leadership generosity. They hand out praise like candy, indiscriminate and meaningless.
The result? A lot of rolled eyes. A lot of cynicism. And a significant loss of respect for the leader.
Because again, people aren't stupid. They know when recognition is genuine and when it's performance. They know when you actually understand what they did and when you're just going through the motions.
I heard about a situation that perfectly illustrates how badly this can go wrong. A board found itself without organizational leadership and expected several individuals to step up and manage the situation. These people did exactly that, impeccably, in fact. They kept the organization running smoothly and even managed to grow it during this interim period.
The board's response? Questions. Condemnation. Open skepticism about motives. Public doubt about the team's intentions and decisions.
When the board finally got around to "recognizing" this hard work and dedication, they offered a nominal pay stipend that amounted to less than 5% of the money the organization had saved by having these individuals step up.
That's not gratitude. That's an insult dressed up as appreciation.
The message sent was clear: "We doubted you the entire time, we questioned your every move, and now we're going to offer you a token gesture that demonstrates exactly how little we valued your sacrifice."
The damage to morale, trust, and future willingness to go above and beyond? Immeasurable.
What Real Gratitude Looks Like in Leadership
"If you don't genuinely appreciate something, don't pretend you do."
So what does genuine, effective gratitude actually look like?
It's specific. Not "great job on that project," but "the way you coordinated with the other departments on that timeline crunch saved us from a major problem. Thank you."
It's timely. Not six months later when you remember, but as close to the moment as possible when the effort and impact are fresh.
It's backed up by actions. Your gratitude needs to be reflected in how you treat people, the opportunities you provide, and the way you advocate for your team.
It's proportional. A massive effort that went above and beyond deserves more than a passing "thanks." Your appreciation should match the significance of what someone did.
It's sincere. If you don't genuinely appreciate something, don't pretend you do. Find something you actually do appreciate and acknowledge that instead.
The Thanksgiving Challenge
As we head into Thanksgiving, here's my challenge to you: identify three people on your team who consistently deliver excellence that you've stopped acknowledging. The person who always has your back. The one who makes your job easier every single day. The team member who quietly handles the difficult stuff without complaint.
Then actually tell them. Specifically. Genuinely.
Not in a big public display (unless that's appropriate and they'd appreciate it). Not in a generic email blast. In a real conversation where you look them in the eye and tell them exactly what they do that you're grateful for and why it matters.
Because here's what I know for certain: leadership in local government is hard. The challenges are constant, the resources are limited, and the scrutiny is intense. Your team members who show up every day and do excellent work despite all of that deserve to hear that you see it and appreciate it.
Beyond the Holiday
"It means being present enough to notice when someone goes above and beyond, being humble enough to acknowledge when others make your job possible, and being genuine enough that your appreciation actually means something."
Gratitude shouldn't be a once-a-year practice reserved for Thanksgiving or Employee Appreciation Week. It should be woven into how you lead every day.
That doesn't mean you need to be handing out gold stars constantly or turning every interaction into a gratitude fest. It means being present enough to notice when someone goes above and beyond, being humble enough to acknowledge when others make your job possible, and being genuine enough that your appreciation actually means something.
Your team isn't working for you because they love filling out paperwork or fixing infrastructure or dealing with complaints. They're doing it because the work matters, because they're committed to serving the community, and because (hopefully) they work in an environment where their contributions are valued.
You create that environment or you erode it with every interaction. With every moment you notice excellence or overlook it. With every genuine thank you or empty platitude.
So, as you sit around your Thanksgiving table this week and go through the ritual of expressing gratitude, think about whether you're bringing that same genuine appreciation to your team. Because they deserve it. And honestly? So do you, the relief and joy that comes from working with people you genuinely appreciate is one of the best parts of leadership.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go thank some people who made my life significantly better this year and probably don't hear it enough.
What's your approach to expressing gratitude as a leader? Have you experienced particularly meaningful recognition, or seen it go wrong? Share your thoughts in the comments, I'd love to hear your experiences.
As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!
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