January Doesn't Have to Be Perfect: Giving Yourself Grace in the New Year
- linnearader
- 8 minutes ago
- 8 min read
Let me tell you about the year I made The Spreadsheet.
I'm talking about a full blown, color coded, every single day planned out spreadsheet. Exercise seven days a week. Reading schedule. Podcast listening schedule. Weight training days. Cleaning days. I had outlined exactly what to do every single day of January. It was beautiful. It was ambitious. It was completely ridiculous.
Want to know how successful I was?
Zero. Like, I hardly lasted a week on any of it.
And here's the thing that really gets me: some of it could have been attainable if I hadn't overdone it. But I went all in on perfection, and perfection is a setup for failure every single time.
If you're reading this in early January feeling the pressure to have it all figured out, to start strong, to finally be the person you think you should be, I need you to hear something: January doesn't have to be perfect. In fact, it won't be. And that's completely okay.
The January Perfection Trap
"I had set myself up to fail. The system wasn't the problem. The expectation of perfection was."
There's something about January that makes us all lose our minds a little bit. We convince ourselves that this is THE month. The fresh start. The clean slate. The moment when everything changes.
So we create these elaborate plans. We set impossible standards. We try to overhaul our entire lives all at once while still, you know, living our actual lives.
And then reality hits.
For me with The Spreadsheet, I set it up so I could log everything each day. I didn't. At first I would go back and log it when I remembered, but then I had already missed a few steps and couldn't remember what I'd done each day.
It was horrible. I felt like such a failure.
But here's what I've learned since then: I had set myself up to fail. The system wasn't the problem. The expectation of perfection was.
When January Hits Different at Work
If you work in government, especially in finance or any role with a December year end, you know that January isn't just about personal resolutions. It's one of the busiest, most demanding times of the year.
For me, January means closing out the books. There are tons of steps, many dependent on data coming in from other sources. Investments. The State of Michigan. Various departments. I have all the things I need to do and get accomplished.
Then there's the start of the new year with the new budget, new plans, new everything.
So while everyone else is posting on social media about their fresh starts and new habits, I'm over here drowning in spreadsheets (the real kind, not the delusional personal improvement kind) and trying to meet deadlines that don't care about my January energy.
It's a really busy time of year. But it's also super fulfilling when I approach it right.
The key word there? When I approach it right.
What Grace Actually Looks Like
"I just took a breath and realized I would accomplish everything I could. That's it. No drama."
Let me tell you about last week. I had a stack of things to accomplish. Like a huge stack. I entered the week overwhelmed.
Old me would have spiraled. Would have beaten myself up for having a long list. Would have stressed about every single item and convinced myself I was failing before I even started.
But I've been working on this whole grace thing. So instead of getting down on myself, I made a plan of attack.
I would work from my home office for a few extra hours so I could focus on the really detailed items. Then I would go into the office when I was needed and there were things that I needed to do there.
Simple. Practical. Based on what would actually work, not on some impossible standard of perfection.
Towards the end of the last day of the week, I really thought I wasn't going to get one of the projects done. And here's where the grace part came in.
Instead of stressing, I just took a breath and realized I would accomplish everything I could.
That's it. No drama. No self-flagellation. Just acceptance that I would do my best and that was enough.
And guess what? Without the stress, I just put one task in front of the other and stepped my way forward. I got that task done. I was a few minutes past the official end of the day, but everything that I was working on balanced and got accomplished.
Even better? My goal was to get it done prior to January 1st and I did it. That's the earliest I've EVER gotten that done.
Giving myself grace to get what I could accomplished and not stress gave me the opportunity to really focus on what I actually was doing. It allowed me to be more successful.
It's a great feeling.
The Thing About Beating Yourself Up
Here's something I've discovered: beating myself up gets me nowhere.
When I beat myself up, I don't accomplish any more than when I don't. In fact, I actually accomplish less, which then makes me beat myself up more. It's this horrible cycle that just keeps spiraling down.
But when I give myself grace? When I accept that I'm human and doing my best? I actually get more done. I make better decisions. I'm more creative in solving problems. I show up better for my team.
Grace isn't about lowering your standards. It's about being realistic about what's actually possible and not torturing yourself when you can't do the impossible.
Let Them, Let Me
"I'm giving myself permission to "Let Me" be me."
Last year I read Mel Robbins' book "The Let Them Theory" and now I'm listening to it on Audible. The message is perfect, especially for January.
It's all about you and what you can do when you don't worry about what others think, how others feel about you, what their opinions are about your choices.
It's very freeing.
My goal this year, coming into January at work (and at home), is to focus on the things I can affect rather than other's opinions on what I'm doing. I can focus on what makes sense for me, what I need to get done, and not focus in on how others feel about it.
And in my personal life? I'm giving myself permission to "Let Me" be me.
Let me approach January in a way that works for my life, not someone else's Instagram version of perfection.
Let me set goals that are realistic, not impressive.
Let me give myself grace when things don't go according to plan.
Let me be human.
What January Grace Actually Means
Giving yourself grace in January doesn't mean giving up on growth or improvement. It doesn't mean having no goals or just coasting through the month.
It means approaching the new year with realistic expectations and compassion for yourself.
It means understanding that January is just another month. Yes, it feels like a fresh start. Yes, there's energy around new beginnings. But it's still just 31 days in the middle of your regular life with all its regular demands.
Grace means recognizing that you can't overhaul everything at once. That you can't be perfect at work while also being perfect at home while also being perfect with your health while also being perfect with your relationships while also being perfect with your personal growth.
Grace means choosing what matters most and being okay with the rest being good enough.
Grace means celebrating progress, not perfection.
The Permission You Need
If you made a list of resolutions and you're already feeling the pressure, here's your permission slip for January:
You have permission to adjust your goals if they're not working.
You have permission to focus on one thing instead of seventeen things.
You have permission to have a regular Tuesday in January that doesn't feel transformative or special.
You have permission to not post about your journey on social media.
You have permission to try something, realize it's not sustainable, and stop.
You have permission to be works in progress, which by definition means you're not perfect yet.
You have permission to give yourself the same grace you'd give a friend or a team member.
January doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be yours.
Moving Through January With Grace
So how do you actually do this? How do you give yourself grace when everyone around you is screaming about transformation and fresh starts and being your best self?
Start by noticing when you're being hard on yourself. Just notice it. When that voice in your head starts with "I should have" or "Why can't I" or "I'm so far behind," pause. Acknowledge it. And then ask: would I talk to someone on my team this way?
When something doesn't go according to plan (and something won't, because life), take a breath. Literally. Stop and take three deep breaths. Then ask: what can I do right now? Not what should I have done yesterday. What can I actually do in this moment?
Celebrate the small wins. Got one thing done instead of five? That's still one thing. Showed up even though you didn't feel like it? That counts. Made progress even if it wasn't perfect? That matters.
And remember: beating yourself up is not motivation. It's just beating yourself up. Grace, on the other hand, actually helps you move forward.
Your January Challenge
"You're going to make mistakes this month...You're going to be human."
Here's my challenge for you this month:
Every time you catch yourself being harsh or critical with yourself, pause. Take a breath. And then say one true, kind thing to yourself.
Not a platitude. Not toxic positivity. Just something true and kind.
"I'm doing my best with what I have right now."
"I showed up today even though it was hard."
"I'm learning and that takes time."
"I accomplished something, even if it wasn't everything."
Practice this. Over and over. Every single time that critical voice shows up.
Because here's the truth: you're going to make mistakes this month. You're going to miss workouts or eat the cookie or skip the morning routine or not finish the project on time. You're going to be human.
The question is: are you going to torture yourself about it, or are you going to give yourself grace and keep moving forward?
January doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be real. And real means messy and imperfect and full of moments where you have to choose grace over criticism.
So this year, let's make a different kind of resolution. Let's resolve to be kinder to ourselves. To give ourselves the same compassion we'd give others. To celebrate progress over perfection.
Let's give ourselves permission to be human in January.
Because the world needs you as you are, not as some perfect version you're trying to force yourself to become.
What's one way you're giving yourself grace this month? Share in the comments. Let's support each other in being human.
As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!
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