Leading by Example in the Digital Age: What Your Online Presence Says About You

linnearader
4 days ago
7 min read

Audio Version!

A few months ago I saw a post that stopped me in my tracks. It was a Facebook post from a parent in our community, ranting angrily about a decision made by the school board, using language that would make anyone cringe, and mentioning several people in what could only be described as a public attack.

This parent is always talking about integrity, kindness, honesty, but online, behind a screen and keyboard, look at how they act… What person is real? Who is this person truly and honestly? These two personas don’t ‘match.

"Leadership isn't just about what you do in formal settings, it's about who you are consistently across all contexts."

These questions have stayed with me because it highlights one of the most significant leadership challenges of our time: maintaining authentic leadership character in digital spaces where it's easy to forget that our words and actions have real impact on real people.

In my work developing leadership programs and serving in public roles, I've learned that leadership isn't just about what you do in formal settings, it's about who you are consistently across all contexts. And increasingly, those contexts include social media, email communications, online forums, and digital interactions where our character is on display for broader audiences than ever before.

The digital age hasn't changed the fundamental principles of good leadership, but it has dramatically expanded the opportunities to demonstrate, or compromise, our leadership integrity. Every post, comment, share, and digital interaction is a leadership moment that reveals our values, our judgment, and our character to networks that extend far beyond our immediate relationships.

The Permanent Record Reality

One of the most sobering aspects of digital leadership is the permanence of our online presence. Unlike face-to-face interactions that exist primarily in memory, digital communications create permanent records that can be screenshot, saved, shared, and searched long after we've moved on from whatever issue prompted our original response.

"Every post, comment, share, and digital interaction is a leadership moment that reveals our values, our judgment, and our character to networks that extend far beyond our immediate relationships."

This permanence means that momentary lapses in judgment can have lasting consequences for our leadership credibility. The angry email sent in frustration, the social media post shared without fact-checking, the sarcastic comment made during a stressful day, these digital moments can undermine years of carefully built trust and respect.

I learned this lesson early in my career when I commented on a social media post. I would love to say I was highly professional and appropriate…but that wouldn’t be accurate. I responded to a post in which I was implied as the subject with intense sarcasm and defensiveness. It wasn’t pretty. And, best of all…the situation related to my position at work.

Who should see the social media post and comment, but a Commissioner from work. He was less than impressed and showed my bosses. I was very lucky that the Commissioner and my bosses were understanding and guided me rather than disciplining me. I learned a LOT that day both in how our social interactions follow us as well as about leadership and grace.

This experience taught me to apply a simple test to all digital communications: would I be comfortable if this message were shared publicly or preserved permanently? If the answer is no, I revise my approach before hitting send.

Modeling Digital Citizenship

As leaders in our families, workplaces, and communities, we have a responsibility to model the kind of digital citizenship we want to see from others. This is particularly important for those of us raising children or working with young people who are learning how to navigate online spaces and digital relationships.

Our children are watching how we handle disagreements on social media. They're observing whether we fact-check information before sharing it. They're noticing whether we treat people online with the same respect we show them in person. They're learning from our example whether digital spaces are places for constructive engagement or for venting frustration without regard for consequences.

"This experience taught me to apply a simple test to all digital communications: would I be comfortable if this message were shared publicly or preserved permanently?"

When I disagree with political decisions or community issues, I have to consider not just whether my perspective is valid, but whether my expression of that perspective models the kind of civic engagement I want my sons to practice when they're adults. Am I contributing to productive dialogue, or am I adding to the noise and divisiveness that characterizes so much online discourse?

This doesn't mean avoiding difficult topics or never expressing strong opinions. It means being thoughtful about how I express those opinions and ensuring that my digital communication reflects the values I claim to hold. I remember I’m one person in person and digitally.

Professional Digital Leadership

In professional contexts, digital leadership requires even more careful consideration because our online presence often extends beyond our immediate colleagues to include clients, community members, industry contacts, and potential employers or partners.

Be your authentic self with your online presence

The LinkedIn post that seems harmless, the Twitter thread about workplace challenges, the Facebook comment about industry trends, all of these communications contribute to our professional reputation and influence how others perceive our leadership capability.

I've seen talented professionals undermine their credibility with poorly considered social media posts that revealed questionable judgment, lack of professionalism, or inability to maintain appropriate boundaries between personal opinions and professional representation.

On the positive side, I've also seen leaders use digital platforms effectively to share insights, support colleagues, celebrate others' successes, and contribute to professional conversations in ways that enhance their reputation and expand their influence.

The key difference is intentionality. Effective digital leaders think before they post, consider their audience and purpose, and ensure that their online presence aligns with their leadership goals and values.

The Echo Chamber Challenge

One of the most significant challenges of digital leadership is avoiding the echo chambers that social media algorithms create around us. When our feeds are filled primarily with people who share our views and perspectives, it's easy to lose sight of the broader context in which our leadership operates.

This echo chamber effect can lead to digital communications that play well within our immediate network but alienate or exclude others who might benefit from our leadership. It can create a false sense of consensus about controversial issues and make us less effective at building bridges across different perspectives.

Effective digital leaders work intentionally to diversify their information sources, seek out different viewpoints, and engage respectfully with people who hold different perspectives. This doesn't mean abandoning your values or principles, but it does mean maintaining the kind of intellectual humility and curiosity that characterizes good leadership in any context.

Authenticity vs. Perfection

One of the ongoing tensions in digital leadership is the balance between authenticity and professionalism. People want to follow leaders who seem real and relatable, but they also expect leaders to maintain certain standards of judgment and behavior.

This balance requires thinking carefully about what aspects of your personality and experience to share online, and how to share them in ways that build rather than undermine your leadership credibility.

Be your authentic self online and in person — Be your authentic self

I try to share enough of my personal experiences and perspectives to seem approachable and authentic, while maintaining appropriate boundaries around privacy, confidentiality, and professional discretion. I'll share stories about parenting challenges that illustrate leadership lessons, but I won't share details about my children's personal struggles. I'll discuss professional challenges in ways that might help others, but I won't violate confidentiality or criticize colleagues publicly.

Building vs. Tearing Down

Perhaps the most important aspect of digital leadership is choosing to use online platforms to build up rather than tear down. It's remarkably easy to criticize, complain, and condemn through digital communications, and much harder to use these same platforms to encourage, support, and create positive change.

The leaders I most respect in digital spaces are those who consistently use their online presence to celebrate others' achievements, share helpful resources, offer constructive perspectives on challenging issues, and create conversations that move communities forward rather than deepen divisions.

"Perhaps the most important aspect of digital leadership is choosing to use online platforms to build up rather than tear down."

This doesn't mean being blindly positive or avoiding difficult topics. It means approaching digital communication with the same leadership mindset you would bring to any other context: How can I use this opportunity to serve others and create positive impact? It’s having the intentionality to bring a positive mindset.

The Next Generation

As I watch my sons and their friends navigate social media, I'm struck by how much they're learning about relationships through their online interactions. They're developing their understanding of appropriate boundaries, effective communication, and personal responsibility (and honestly the exact opposite) through trial and error in digital spaces.

This makes our modeling even more important. They need to see examples of adults who use digital platforms thoughtfully, who engage in online discourse respectfully, and who understand that character doesn't change based on the medium of communication.

They also need guidance about how to recover from digital mistakes, how to handle online conflict, and how to use technology to enhance rather than replace face-to-face relationships.

The Opportunity

Despite the challenges, the digital age also creates unprecedented opportunities for leadership impact. We can connect with people across geographic boundaries, share insights and resources broadly, support others' growth and development, and participate in conversations that shape our communities and organizations.

The key is approaching these opportunities with the same intentionality, integrity, and service orientation that characterizes effective leadership in any context. Digital platforms are tools that can amplify either positive or negative leadership impact, the choice is ours.

The Daily Practice

"Your online presence is your leadership presence. The question is: what kind of leader does your digital footprint reveal you to be?"

Leading by example in the digital age requires daily intentional choices about how we show up online. Before posting, commenting, or sharing, effective digital leaders ask themselves: Does this reflect my values? Will this contribute positively to the conversation? Am I treating others with dignity and respect? Is this something I would be comfortable with my children, colleagues, or community members seeing?

These questions take only seconds to consider, but they can prevent digital communications that undermine our leadership credibility and ensure that our online presence enhances rather than detracts from our ability to influence positive change.

The digital age hasn't changed what good leadership looks like, it has simply expanded the contexts in which our leadership is visible and the consequences of our leadership choices. The same character qualities that make someone trustworthy in person make them trustworthy online. The same values that guide effective face-to-face communication should guide digital communication.

Your online presence is your leadership presence. The question is: what kind of leader does your digital footprint reveal you to be?

As always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!