Confidence Isn't a Personality Trait, It's a Leadership Skill You Can Build

Confidence is a building block of leadership

Why Confidence Matters More Than You Think

Let me be real with you for a minute. I used to think confidence was this magical thing that some people just had, and others didn't. Like being tall or having perfect pitch. You either got it, or you didn't.

I was wrong. Dead wrong.

Here's what I've learned after years of working with groups of people and going through my own journey from overwhelmed mess to confident leader: confidence isn't a personality trait you're born with. It's a skill you develop. And it's absolutely critical for effective leadership.

Think about it this way. When you're confident in your abilities, you make decisions faster. You don't second-guess yourself into paralysis. You don't spend hours spinning your wheels wondering if you're doing the right thing. You assess the situation, use your knowledge and experience, and move forward. That's leadership.

"Confidence isn't a personality trait you're born with. It's a skill you develop. And it's absolutely critical for effective leadership."

But here's the kicker, confidence isn't just about you. Your team can feel it. When you walk into a room with genuine confidence (not arrogance, there's a difference, a BIG difference), your team feels more secure. They trust your decisions more readily. They're more likely to come to you with problems because they believe you can handle whatever they throw at you.

I remember when I was drowning in overwhelm, my lack of confidence was like a virus spreading through my team. My self-doubt became their uncertainty. My hesitation became their confusion. The spiral was real, and it was affecting everyone around me.

On the flip side, when you lead with confidence, you give your team permission to be confident too. You create an environment where people feel safe to take calculated risks, to speak up with ideas, to own their work. That's when real innovation happens. That's when teams thrive.

And here's something nobody talks about enough, confidence is contagious in the best possible way. When you approach challenges with the belief that you can figure it out, your team starts believing they can figure things out too. Suddenly, problems become puzzles to solve instead of mountains to climb.

"When you lead with confidence, you give your team permission to be confident too. You create an environment where people feel safe to take calculated risks, to speak up with ideas, to own their work."

5 Ways to Build Confidence

"Before you can own your accomplishments publicly, you must own them privately. That means actually acknowledging to yourself what you did well."

Now that we can all agree that confidence is important, the next question is HOW in the world do we build it?

1. Focus on Strengths 

Often in professional development you’ll talk about strengths and weaknesses with the intent to build up our weaknesses. BUT in this case, I’m going to tell you something unfamiliar for most of us…I want you to focus on your strengths in order to build your confidence. Lean on the things you do best and know you have the knowledge and capabilities to manage a situation. Now, I’m not saying forget your weaknesses. Quite the opposite, be aware of your weaknesses and manage them.

2. Own Your Accomplishments

It’s hard for most of us to take credit for our accomplishments. If we do we feel cocky, overconfident, taking credit from someone else. As leaders we make sure we give credit where credit is due and sometimes take that too far.

What does owning your accomplishments in a productive and confident way look like? Owning your accomplishments productively means acknowledging your contribution while recognizing others. It sounds like:

• "Thank you. I'm proud of how we approached that challenge. I spent time researching options, and the team executed beautifully."

  
  

• "I appreciate you noticing. This project succeeded because I prioritized it correctly and my team’s expertise in the technical aspects was invaluable."

  
  

• "Yes, I'm pleased with the outcome. I learned from our last project's mistakes and applied those lessons here."

  
  

Notice what's happening? You're accepting the credit for your actual contributions; the planning, the decision-making, the learning from past experiences. But you're also giving credit where it's due to others.

The Internal Work of Owning Accomplishments

Here's what I had to learn the hard way: before you can own your accomplishments publicly, you must own them privately. That means actually acknowledging to yourself what you did well.

Start by keeping a “wins list," nothing fancy, just a notebook or piece of paper where you write down what you accomplish each day or each week. Not just the big stuff, but the small leadership moments too:

• "Had a difficult conversation with Jasper about his performance - he responded well"

• "Reorganized the timeline when we hit that snag - kept us on track."

• "Recognized Jane's extra effort publicly - boosted team morale"

  
  

  Develop a Growth Mindset

3.  develop a growth mindset

First, what is a growth mindset? Google says: “the belief that one's abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication, hard work, and learning from mistakes.”

When you embrace a growth mindset, you stop seeing challenges as threats to your competence and start seeing them as opportunities to become more competent. That mistake you made last month? It's not evidence that you're failing as a leader, it's data you can use to make better decisions moving forward. Your team doesn't need you to know everything; they need you to be curious enough to learn everything that matters.

4.  Invest in Mentorship

Invest in Mentorship

One of the best investments you can make in your confidence is building a community of mentors you can lean on and trust. I'm not talking about finding one perfect guru who has all the answers, I'm talking about cultivating relationships with people who've walked similar paths and are willing to share what they've learned. A good mentor becomes your sounding board, the person who listens when you're wrestling with a tough decision or feeling uncertain about your next move. They create a safe space where you can voice your concerns, test your ideas, and work through challenges without worrying about judgment or political fallout.

What makes mentorship incredibly powerful is the honest feedback and fresh perspective they bring. The best mentors don't just tell you what you want to hear, they tell you what you need to hear. That sometimes brutal honesty helps you see blind spots you didn't even know you had and builds the self-awareness that's essential for confident leadership. Plus, their experience becomes your shortcut to learning. Instead of making every mistake yourself, you can learn from theirs. Instead of reinventing the wheel, you can build on their insights. It's like having a roadmap through challenges you haven't faced yet, written by someone who's already navigated the terrain.

5.  Building Confidence Through Feedback

Here's something that might sound backwards: one of the fastest ways to build confidence is to actively ask for feedback from others. I know, I know, asking for feedback feels vulnerable and scary. What if they tell you something you don't want to hear? But here's what I've learned: the leaders who regularly ask for feedback are the ones who grow fastest and become the most confident in their abilities. Why? Because they're not operating in a vacuum, wondering if they're on the right track. They're getting real-time data about their performance and adjusting before small issues become big problems.

How to Ask for Feedback That Actually Helps

The key to making feedback work for you is staying humble and asking specific questions. Don't just say "How am I doing?" - that's too vague and you'll get generic responses that don't help anyone. Instead, ask targeted questions like "What's one thing I could have done differently in that meeting?" or "How did my communication style affect the team's response to the project changes?" When you ask specific questions, you get specific answers you can actually use. And here's the crucial part, when someone gives you feedback, don't defend or explain. Just listen, ask clarifying questions if needed, and thank them. Remember, they're giving you a gift of their perspective, even if it stings a little.

The beautiful thing about seeking feedback is that it flips the script on your confidence. Instead of being afraid that people are judging you silently, you're proactively gathering information to improve. You're in control of your growth again. And when you implement the feedback and see positive changes, that builds real, sustainable confidence - the kind that comes from knowing you can adapt, learn, and get better at whatever challenges come your way.

How to Start Building Confidence

"The difference isn't that confident leaders never feel uncertain, it's that they've learned to act despite uncertainty. They've built enough confidence to trust their ability to figure things out as they go."

Begin with micro-actions. You don't need to transform into a CEO overnight. Start with something just outside your comfort zone. Speak up in one meeting. Give feedback to one team member. Make one decision you've been avoiding.

Focus on learning, not perfection. Remember, competence isn't about being perfect, it’s about being capable. Every mistake is data. Every challenge is practice. Every uncomfortable moment is growth.

Document your wins. Keep track of what you're learning and how you're growing. When confidence wavers (and it will), you'll have concrete evidence of your developing competence.

The Truth About Confident Leadership

The Confident pose!

Here's something I wish someone had told me earlier in my leadership journey: nobody feels 100% confident all the time. Even the most seasoned leaders experience moments of doubt.

The difference isn't that confident leaders never feel uncertain, it's that they've learned to act despite uncertainty. They've built enough confidence to trust their ability to figure things out as they go.

Your Confidence Journey Starts Now

"You don't need to wait until you feel 'ready' to start leading with confidence. You don't need to have all the answers or eliminate every doubt. You just need to begin where you are, with what you have."

The truth is, confidence isn't a destination, it's a practice. Every day you have the choice to lean into your strengths, own your accomplishments, seek feedback, and take one small step outside your comfort zone. Each choice builds the muscle of confidence that your team needs to see in you.

You don't need to wait until you feel "ready" to start leading with confidence. You don't need to have all the answers or eliminate every doubt. You just need to begin where you are, with what you have, and trust that competence and confidence will grow together.

Take Action This Week

Pick one area from this post and commit to it for the next seven days:

• Start a wins list - At the end of each day, write down one thing you accomplished or handled well

• Ask for specific feedback - Choose one trusted colleague and ask them one targeted question about your leadership

• Own one accomplishment - The next time someone compliments your work, practice accepting it gracefully while acknowledging your team's contributions

• Take one micro-action - Identify something you've been avoiding and take the smallest possible step toward addressing it

Remember, your team is watching. They're looking for a leader who can navigate uncertainty with calm assurance, who can make tough decisions when needed, and who believes in their collective ability to solve problems and create success.

That leader is you. You just need to start acting like it.

What's your next step? I'd love to hear which strategy resonates most with you. Drop a comment below and let me know how you're planning to build your confidence this week. Your journey matters, and sharing it might just inspire another leader who needs to hear that they're not alone in this challenge.

And, as always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!

Connect With Me

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If you want to consult on training or coaching for your team, please reach out.

Linnea@leadwithlinnea.com

269-621-5282