From Drowning to Thriving: How 7 Simple Reminders Changed My Leadership Journey

Being overwhelmed nearly drowned me before I discovered a lifeline. Here's how a simple whiteboard with seven reminders transformed my work life and can help you too.

Drowning in Overwhelm

There were days I could hardly keep my head above water. I was aboard the struggle bus express. My to-do list was growing, almost as quickly as my stress level. I was in a spiral.

Have you been in my shoes? Have you felt that you took one step forward to take two steps back?

The Cycle of Highs and Lows

There were good days, some even great. I could check some things off my list and feel great about it. Then there were bad days…those days I would add more to my list than I could check off in a week.

Sometimes this would go on for days. Sometimes weeks or even months. A good day, week, or month. A difficult day, week, or month. The end result was the same, even with some good days or even months, I would wind up right back overwhelmed and stressed. I couldn’t get out of the cycle.

The Breaking Point

My hair was turning grey, I was gaining weight at an unprecedented pace. Insomnia was constant. I snapped at my kids; I couldn’t find merit in any of my husband’s actions. I was a mess!

At that point if anyone asked me to pinpoint what my issue was, I wouldn’t have said I was overwhelmed, I wouldn’t have told them I was stressed. I likely would have said I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but EVERYTHING was wrong, at least to me.

One week a year I could go to the Michigan Public Service Institute (MPSI – mipsi.org if you want to check it out). That week all would be right with the world. Even the following week or even month. I left inspired. I left motivated. I left with a plan. But as time went on, I would spiral back down.

What in the world was going on?!?!?!?

I hid the fact that I was overwhelmed most of the time. There were signs. Some could recognize when it was really weighing on me, but overall, everyone thought I was fine. On the outside I was. On the inside I was screaming!

Taking the First Step

Then one day I was sitting in training. The speaker was a familiar face, I’d participated in his training sessions on probably 15 occasions already. Each time I was in a session with him I found great strategies and ideas. But on this particular day I picked up on an offer for one-on-one leadership coaching. I wrote it down.

Confronting Self-Doubt

I’m a director. I’ve acted as the Managing Director before. Can I admit I need a leadership coach? Does it mean I’m not capable? Does this mean I don’t know what I’m doing? If I ask for this coaching, will I look weak? Will I appear incompetent?

At this point you can probably tell my self-talk skills were in dire need of help!

I got up the nerve to ask about the coaching, got it approved, and got my first session scheduled. Step one, complete!

Setting Coaching Goals

It started with finding out what my goals of coaching were. I tend to keep EVERYTHING…. It’s an issue, but that’s for another day. In writing this, I went back and found what I summarized as my goals, you may find them interesting. I’m editing NOTHING as I copy/paste them here:

• True confidence in my position and abilities. Right now, I feel like I know what I’m doing, but I also feel like the rug could be pulled out from under me at any point. I don’t think there’s ever a time when someone is ok with the idea that that could happen, but, if I build my confidence, I’ll realize that if that happens, I’ll be ok somewhere else.

  
  

• Consistent leadership. Some days are good, some days I feel like I fail. Some days I contain my emotions and sometimes they pour out like a faucet. I need to get that in check and have a better way to set a good example. This is a big issue for me that I feel is getting worse, not better.

  
  

• Time management. I flit around between projects like a crazy butterfly (or moth, but butterfly is a nicer thought). I need to get organized, prioritize, limit distractions, and be efficient.

  
  

• A way to deal with the stress of the current organization. I would like to do that through making things better. If that isn’t possible, then I need to figure out how to better manage stress.

Reading through these again years later, these remind me of that time. The lack of confidence I had in myself was astounding. I had zero grace with myself. It’s like I can hardly even recognize who I was (thank goodness!).

The Transformation Journey

Through 6 months of at least twice a month conversation, soul searching and homework, changes were happening. Others could see it and most importantly, I could FEEL it.

Coaching was amazing. I started realizing where my concerns with myself came from. I got a handle on the realities of my situation. Guess what, it wasn’t as bad as I made it in my head. Surprise, surprise, I was way harder on myself than I needed to be. I got tools I needed to not only be successful, but to also FEEL successful.

My Daily Reminders for Success

My final assignment was to make myself a visual of the things I needed to remind myself of regularly. Put it in a spot where I would see it every day so I could hold myself accountable. I mounted it on a big white board in my office, straight ahead of me when I’m sitting at my desk. It is in the same place today. Here’s what it says:

• 3-5 Things (per day or week)

• Emotional Control

• Say no or re-direct.

• Take a breath before reacting.

• Focus on MY team.

• Limit distractions, increase focus.

• Keep this desk organized!

  
  

These items may not mean much to you, but they mean peace and success to me.

Breaking Down the System

So, what do these reminders mean to me? Let me explain:

3-5 Things: Setting Realistic Daily Goals

3-5 things (per day or week) – Each day I make a list of 3-5 items from my to-do list. Mind you, my actual to-do list is quite lengthy, this isn’t even a fraction of it. But I learned that 3-5 is all that I can reasonably accomplish throughout the day with everything else that comes up. Most days, I can accomplish everything I put on this list by ensuring that I’m prioritizing correctly and not over-extending myself. Somedays it doesn’t work when other priorities occur, but primarily it’s effective and I feel confident in my daily accomplishments.

Emotional Control: Keeping Reactions in Check

Emotional control – As you read earlier, “Some days I contain my emotions and sometimes they pour out like a faucet” that left a lot of room for improvement. First, by keeping my actual daily to-do list reasonable, and feeling accomplished, I’m able to keep my emotions in check far better. Beyond that, just looking at this list and reminding myself that I need to control my emotions helps keep my mind focused on that control. You would be amazed at how it helps to see that when something crazy happens, you may normally react emotionally but seeing it right there in your face…it reminds you to check yourself.

Learning to Say No

Say no or re-direct – By nature I’m a people pleaser that struggles with saying no. Need something done, ask Linnea, she will say yes. Need a volunteer to go do x, y, and z, I’ll say yes. If you see a pattern, I had an uncanny ability to grow my to-do list in the blink of an eye. Saying yes, all the time kept me remarkably busy and incredibly stressed. Guess what, when I learned that I didn’t have to say yes, all the time, people understood. People weren’t upset or mad when I explained that I couldn’t prioritize their request in their timeframe. There are plenty of others to help!

The Power of a Pause

Take a breath before reacting – This really ties directly to emotional control. Whenever anything happens, good or bad, take a breath and give your body time to process and react. This is genuinely great advice for all situations. A breath or pause before reaction helps ensure you’ll be satisfied with your response long term.

Prioritizing Your Team

Focus on MY team. In my role at my employer I’m tasked with a lot of different duties. There’s an amazing group of people that report to me. There are also groups that don’t report to me, but I provide human resource support too. Human resources support can be very time-consuming and can range from training, performance management, and all sorts of other tasks. There have been times when that support takes more priority than leading my team. Sometimes rightfully so and sometimes it can be mitigated and prioritized later. This is a reminder to keep my focus on my direct team and not let them fall to the wayside when that human resource support is being called upon.

Managing Distractions

Limit distractions, increase focus. This could be and likely will be an entire post at some point. Distractions are EVERYWHERE. They can take the form of email notifications, phone calls, text messages, people walking into your office or through the office, conversations within the office, radio traffic, you name it, distractions are all around us. Limiting distractions takes work. I’ll mention the two that help me most.

1. Check emails at designated times. Don’t stop what you’re doing to read emails as they come through. Even better, turn off notifications. A crucial point here is that you communicate this with your team, so they don’t expect an immediate response. Your team needs to know if there’s something that needs your attention right away, what you want them to do.

   
   

2. Schedule time for projects or distraction free time. Shut your office door, work remotely, work in a different location. Separate yourself so distractions are limited by space and time!

   
   

The Organized Desk, Organized Mind

Keep this desk organized. I have always prided myself on the fact that even when my desk is piled with stacks of stuff, I can locate specific papers. While that’s a great trick, keeping organized provides a whole lot more solace for my brain. It’s so easy for the stacks to grow and everything to get disorganized when you’re going in a thousand directions and working to keep up with that to-do list mentioned earlier. However, when my desk is organized, I feel better and more productive. Why? When I’m disorganized there’s always a worry in the back of my head that I’m forgetting something or missing a deadline. Typically, everything is on my to-do list somewhere, but the worry in the back of my mind makes me nervous and causes a lot of unnecessary stress.

What about all this information is hard? None of it. There is no rocket science involved in figuring this out. But the coaching I received made who I am now possible. His guidance and advice, his questions and points of information all made me think of things differently and draw answers out of myself.

I’m happy to report that I’m more productive than ever. I mean…. If I wasn’t, there’s no way I could take have been able to start this business! More than that I’m able to get so much more done than before. I spend less time worrying about what I’m missing or considering what needs to be done next. I have a process. I have a plan. I have peace. My stress is reduced, and I feel better about life as a whole!

Take Action Today

Don't wait until you're at your breaking point like I did. Identify one area where you're feeling overwhelmed and take a small step toward change this week. Whether it's creating your own "3-5 things" list, scheduling a coaching consultation, or simply setting boundaries around your time—your future self will thank you.

Need support on your journey? Join our community by subscribing to our exclusive content where I share tips and strategies. Or book a free 15-minute discovery call to see if coaching might be right for you too.

Remember: Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness—it's the first step toward reclaiming your peace and productivity. What will your first step be today?

Share your commitments in the comments, and let's support each other in breaking free from overwhelm!

And, as always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!

Connect With Me

If you want to consult on training or coaching for your team, please reach out.

Linnea@leadwithlinnea.com

269-621-5282