For years, every time I asked a question, I got the same reaction. People got defensive. Their shoulders would tense up. Their answers got short. And for the longest time, I couldn't figure out why. Now I understand it completely. And once I did, it changed everything about how I show up at work, and honestly, at home too.

We watched the whole thing unfold. Let's be honest, watching is a generous word. It was closer to staring. From the back of the boat, someone called out, “We must be something to watch.” I called back, “You really are!” What I missed in that moment was tone. A second after I said it, I caught myself and asked someone else who was clearly watching whether I'd misread the situation. I had. Her body language said it all. She was not enjoying being the center of attention.