The Leadership Problem Solver: Actionable Insights for Today's Challenges – Perception of a Gesture

linnearader
Apr 23
4 min read

Updated: May 27

Introduction

This blog series offers practical strategies for leaders facing common workplace challenges. Drawing from my 19+ years of experience, I'll share actionable solutions that have consistently delivered results for my teams.

While these approaches have proven effective in my experience, I recognize that leadership styles vary widely. These posts represent my perspective rather than universal truths—take what resonates and adapt it to your unique situation. And of course, for issues requiring legal expertise, consult with qualified professionals.

The Situation: A Case of (Mis?) interpreted Gestures

Today’s challenge is an interesting and difficult one – two employees not interpreting an action the same way. Here’s the situation that was brought to me:

Two of my employees are upset with each other. One side of the story is that he waved when he passed his co-worker. The co-worker is a female, and her version is that he made an inappropriate gesture, not a wave. I don’t know which is true or what I’m supposed to do with it.

Step-by-Step Resolution Strategy

Perception matters. Rules matter. Inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated.

This is a tricky situation, but you can navigate it effectively by staying neutral, gathering facts, and ensuring both employees feel heard. Here’s how I’d manage it:

1. Have Separate Conversations

Meet with each employee individually to understand their perspectives.

Ask the male employee to explain exactly what he did and if he was aware that it may have been perceived as inappropriate. Have him demonstrate the gesture so you can visually understand what the discussion is surrounding.
Ask the female employee what she saw, how it made her feel, and if this has happened before. Have her demonstrate what she saw so you can compare the two visuals.
Look for any inconsistencies or patterns in their versions of the situation.

2. Gather Information

Were there any cameras in the area?
Did any other employees witness the interaction?

3. Bring Them Together (If Appropriate)

Depending on the information you’ve gathered so far, if it appears that this is a situation of misunderstanding and IF both employees are open to it, a mediated conversation could help resolve the misunderstanding. Set ground rules:

Focus on facts and feelings, not accusations.
Encourage respectful dialogue.
Reiterate workplace expectations for professionalism and respect.

4. Reaffirm Workplace Expectations

Continuing along the misunderstanding vein, remind both employees about workplace conduct:

For the male employee: Ensure he understands that gestures, words, etc. can be interpreted differently by different people. Be mindful of your interactions.
For the female employee: Acknowledge her concern and reinforce that your workplace takes these matters seriously.

If It's a Misunderstanding vs. If It's Misconduct

If, however, the information gathered has determined that the male employee was acting in an inappropriate manner, the clarification of expectations will be different for the male employee. That interaction would then include discipline, up to or including discharge from employment. If employment continues, the expectation is clear that inappropriate actions are NOT tolerated and will not continue.

A referral to an employee assistance plan (EAP) to ensure corrective action is utilized or additional training could also be beneficial. The main point is to ensure the behavior changes.

5. Document Everything

Take notes on your conversations to ensure details are preserved. At this time, you don’t know what could happen in the future. Does the male employee make gestures that others feel are inappropriate? Does the female employee get picked on for reporting a co-worker? You have no idea what will be needed in the future, so it’s important to document the situation objectively and thoroughly. Even in situations that you think there’s no way you won’t remember…still document carefully. protect yourself and the company in case it escalates.

6. Follow Up

Check in with both employees separately after a few days.
Ensure a positive, professional work environment moving forward.

Key Takeaways

Pause. Take time to reflect on the situation before you react, ensuring you don’t jump to any conclusions or make statements you cannot retract.
Don’t Take Sides. Ensure you maintain your neutral position while gathering information.
Conversations Can Help. If appropriate, a mediated conversation can assist in resolving misunderstandings.
Reinforce Workplace Expectations. Perception matters. Rules matter. Inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated.
Document the Situation Carefully. Documentation ensures the record is maintained in case of further issues.
Leadership Extends Beyond the Resolution. Follow up with both employees to make sure the situation is fully addressed. Consider additional training or resources to prevent future misunderstandings.

As a leader, how you respond to situations like these will impact how your team respects you.

Your Turn: Share Your Experience

Now that you’ve seen how I would approach this issue, what would you do? Share your ideas and insight. Continue the conversation and keep on sharing! Tell me what worked (or didn't) when you tried these strategies. Your insights could help fellow leaders who are struggling with similar issues.

Submit Your Leadership Challenge

What leadership challenge are YOU facing right now? Share a leadership dilemma you'd like me to address in an upcoming post. I select reader questions for future topics! Comment below.

Email me directly at linnea@leadwithlinnea.com to submit your question. The best submissions will be featured (with permission) in future posts.

And, as always, carry social kindness with you everywhere you go. The world needs you and your positive mindset!