For years, every time I asked a question, I got the same reaction. People got defensive. Their shoulders would tense up. Their answers got short. And for the longest time, I couldn't figure out why. Now I understand it completely. And once I did, it changed everything about how I show up at work, and honestly, at home too.

Last week we talked about imposter syndrome, that nagging feeling that sneaks into your brain at the most inconvenient times. Today I want to go one layer deeper, because imposter syndrome doesn't show up out of nowhere. It's fed by something. It's fed by the self-doubt underneath it, the negative self-talk running in the background of everything we do. I can tell you with absolute certainty this is true, because I lived it this week.

Last week I walked into a room full of finance and human resources professionals. Smart people. Experienced people. The kind of room where you'd think, after 21 years in this field, I'd walk in and simply belong. Instead, I felt that familiar flash. Quick, sudden, gone almost as fast as it arrived, but it still landed. A pang that told me everyone else in that room already had more of what it takes than I did. Not a long drawn out thought. Just a flicker of doubt, there and

Over the last few weeks, I lost my focus. Not entirely, but when you've got a lot going on and like to make progress on a bunch of different projects, even a small sidestep in focus makes a big difference. If you write it down and put it somewhere you see it regularly, guess what happens? It actually happens. You still have to put in the effort, don't get me wrong. But seeing it, right there in front of you, helps. It reminds you of your goals, your focus, your priorities.

We watched the whole thing unfold. Let's be honest, watching is a generous word. It was closer to staring. From the back of the boat, someone called out, “We must be something to watch.” I called back, “You really are!” What I missed in that moment was tone. A second after I said it, I caught myself and asked someone else who was clearly watching whether I'd misread the situation. I had. Her body language said it all. She was not enjoying being the center of attention.

I've been at the Road Commission for 21 years. That's a long time. Not the longest tenure in the room, but long enough that my brain is basically a filing cabinet of random history, processes, institutional knowledge, and details that most people don't even know to ask about. I remember looking at the long-timers when I first started and thinking...how do they know all of that? Will I ever get there? Well, I sure don't know everything. But I've gotten there in a lot of ways.

The result? They look like a diamond. Their coworker looks like a chunk of coal. And nobody actually did anything different. One person just decided their shine required someone else's shadow. Here's what I know about people who build others up. They are magnetic. People want to be around them. People want to work for them and with them. They create environments where everyone does better, because when one person wins and it feels safe to celebrate, the whole team gets more

I have spent a lot of time in rooms with leaders. New ones, seasoned ones, reluctant ones, and ambitious ones. And one thing I see over and over again is this: most leaders are so busy leading that they never stop to ask themselves the most important question of all. Who am I as a leader right now? Not who they want to be. Not who their organization needs them to be. Who they actually are today, with all the strengths and blind spots and unfinished edges that come with bein

Last week I interviewed 19 people for the same position. One hundred and eighteen people applied. Getting from 118 to a manageable interview list took time, focus, and more than a few passes through a whole lot of resumes. It got me thinking. About the process. About what makes someone stand out. About what hiring managers are really looking for and what applicants often miss. So whether you are on the applying side or the hiring side, this one is for you.

So that’s what this post is. The actual how. What job shadowing looks like when it works, how to cross-train without overwhelming your team, and how to stop wasting your vacation coverage opportunities. Let’s get into it. And yes, I know all of this. I’ve written it right here. That does not mean I do it perfectly or consistently. I am a work in progress too, and that is completely okay. I share this stuff because I believe in it, not because I have it all figured out.

Here's where I am sitting today as I write this. Graduation is May 9th. I'm not walking. There won't be a ceremony for me, no cap, no stage, no speeches. And yet, somewhere in my brain, I've decided I am not allowed to celebrate until after May 9th. Why? I don't have a good answer. The work is done. The degree is earned. But there's some invisible permission slip I'm waiting for. Some "official" moment I think has to happen before I am allowed to mark this.

Change is hard. Some people love change. Some people resist it. But honestly? Whether you welcome it or dread it, change is still a challenge. Picture this. You're at work, somewhere you've been for a long time (in my case, 20+ years). You know the systems. You know the people. You know how to get things done. Then someone new walks in with fresh ideas, a different perspective, and a totally different way of thinking. Suddenly, the way you've always done things is up for de